thewallises

Two days ago Natalie asked if she could pleeeeeeeeeease plan a family picnic. Sure. Okay. When I woke up Friday morning and scuttled to the kitchen half-asleep for some coffee, I found a verrrrrry enthusiastic and super duper excited Natalie. This girl is a planner and loves being a hostess! Wow. By 7am the picnic was planned, labeled on our refrigerator calendar as “N’s Family Picnic 11-12:30” and already all packed up. She was beyond excited!!!! She waited for the 11 o’clock hour to arrive.

Then off we went. The four of us. Celebrating Daddy’s 1st day of summer vacation. Woohoo! The kids picked up their scooters and went blazing off ahead of us on the sidewalk as we trailed behind on foot. With the picnic basket in one hand and Steve’s other hand lovingly holding mine, I kept thinking “I’m so thankful for my creative, fun-loving 6-year old who planned this for us.”

Natalie was beyond ecstatic to lay out the picnic blanket on a patch of grass at our nearby park. With great charisma she pulled out metal lunch boxes and plastic plates that she had carefully thought out to pack for each of us.

After setting out a lunch box in front of each of us, she counted 1….2….3..….with SOOOO much expectant joy in her voice! The anticipation of seeing our reaction to her surprise was just killing her! It was so incredibly cute to witness. And boy were we surprised!!!!!!!! Daddy’s lunch box especially had the biggest surprise of all.  We laughed and laughed and laughed. If you would have told me I would get a million dollars if I could correctly guess the contents of the metal lunch box, I would never, ever, ever, ever have guessed: mini marshmallows, birthday candles, matches, toothpicks and miniature doll-sized forks. We were expecting sandwiches or chips or some kind of lunch item. Nope.

Did I mention birthday candles? A LOT of them! She had packed enough for us to celebrate someone’s 30th birthday. Steve and I were seriously rolling with laughter. This was definitely a surprise that we didn’t see coming! Natalie felt accomplished in surprising us. Indeed she had!

So there we sat….the four of us eating mini marshmallows. Steve used birthday candles to poke them one by one and eat them. I used a frilly toothpick. Jacob used a miniature doll-sized fork. I don’t recall ever having focused my delight in marshmallows, savoring one miniature mallow at a time. It really does make for a yummy experience when you eat them one by one, enjoying them in their sweet singleness.

Then out came the sliced cucumbers. Okay now this is a hilarious story! Natalie couldn’t find our peeler this morning, but she really did want to peel the cucumber skin before slicing it up for us. She had watched me use a paring knife the other day to peel the cucumbers, but she remembered me saying it was a bit tricky to peel the skin with a knife. She wanted to be cautious and not assume she could use the paring knife while we were still in bed and she was unattended in the kitchen. So, what did her creative mind come up with? Peeling the skin using her fingernail. Yes. Her fingernail. She just picked, picked, picked along the skin taking it off in chunks. If you look carefully at this picture you can see the “chunky” sided slices. Some are “straight, smooth” sided slices- those were ones she finished after Steve woke up and help her locate the missing peeler. 🙂

Then the fun  of dog-piling Daddy began. Steve is such a trooper! There he lay propped up on his elbows, casually, not in the least bit phased by the fact that his 6-year old and 8-year old were wrestling each other on top of him! How do daddies do this? They seem not to mind being pummeled, choked, laid on, their arms twisted or bodies smashed. And he just lying there unphased, smiling and thinking the whole thing fun. He’s such a fun dad!

And then more silliness ensued. Jacob tried sticking marshmallows to his two front teeth and balancing cucumber slices on his eyes.

The silly fun had begun. Next Natalie joined in on the fun. 

Why not? I can’t be pummeled by wrestling children and still smile…..but I can stick marshmallows onto my teeth and smile! It surprised the kiddos that Mama was partaking in the silliness. Oh they don’t know what a silly goofball I was during my college days and Young Life leader days! They know me as responsible, serious mama….the silly sponge….but today seemed like a good day to let them know Mama knows how to be silly too. So then I convinced Daddy to join in the fun too. We all had mallow buck teeth! And we all laughed our heads off.

Oh how I love my Natalie girl. My sweet, smiley, creative girl that has a super amazing laugh. She laughs and laughs and laughs. Oftentimes the rest of us start laughing simply in response to her laughter. She is a treasure to our family. I took extra special delight in how she even wrapped and taped labels to the coffee mugs that held the Kool-Aid she had made for the picnic. Daddy and Jacob had their names on one mug. Mama and Natalie were going to share the other mug. And packed for the picnic was a large plastic pitcher of more Kool-Aid in case anyone wanted refills. She is a planner I tell you!

Some former students of mine always used to say I had a Kool-Aid smile. Let me officially introduce you to the girl who truly does have a Kool-Aid smile…..my sweet Natalie.

Tonight after the kids and I left our local library, I headed over to Starbucks to grab a mocha. I was longing for some rich, chocolatey coffee. As I approached the entrance, the corner of my eye caught sight of a homeless man who was headed up the sidewalk towards the storefront. While I stood in line to order my mocha, I couldn’t help but think that this man might be hungry. I looked out the window and saw that he had dug into the outside trashcan and was holding a styrofoam clamshell, eating the leftovers of someone’s throwaway dinner. As I walked out, I stopped and asked him if he was hungry and if he’d like a sandwich or something. He looked kindly at me and said, “yes, yes, actually, if you wouldn’t mind I would love a coffee.” I was taken by surprise. A coffee? Really? Whoa. Not the answer I was expecting. But as I looked at him, with his shirtless upper body, his shoeless feet, a tattered comforter strewn about his shoulders, I imagined why a hot cup of coffee would be such a nice treat. I asked him if there was any particular type of coffee he’d like and he said “I’d love a decaf. I’d like to be able to sleep tonight, so a decaf would really be great.” Jacob and Natalie followed me back into Starbucks where we stood in line to order the man a decaf. Jacob asked with a slightly shaky voice “Mama, is he homeless?” “Yes, Buddy. Yes he is.” A few moments later…… “Mama, if Omie decides that she doesn’t want to come live in the little condo in our backyard, can we offer to let this man come live there?” Oh the sweetness. Oh the beautiful heart. I replied, saying “Jacob, I just talked to Omie last night and she said she’s very much looking forward to come live with us. She will be moving into the little condo.”  “Oh, okay Mama.” A few seconds later….”Mama, I’ve seen several houses for sale in our neighborhood. Can we buy this man a house, with our money?” “Buddy, we don’t have enough money to do that.” Then it was our turn to order coffee. We did. The decaf was brewing and wouldn’t be ready for 3-4 minutes. I let the kiddos know that we could go outside and talk with the man while we were waiting for his coffee; that we could offer him the gift of companionship and conversation as we waited. I let them know it was okay to smile at him; that their smiles would be gifts of joy to him.

We headed outside and then began to chat with him. I asked him his name. Kevin. As we stood there talking about all sorts of things…..the Santa Cruz boardwalk, his birthplace in Anaheim, the difficulty in obtaining a birth certificate without an i.d., the subject of math…the three of us were just soaking in the sight of him. Here was a man, I was guessing in his 40’s, with open, festering wounds, scabs and sores all over his body. His bald head, his arms, his hands, his feet….all of it was acutely sickened by some kind of disease or serious illness. Yet his eyes were alive and his speech unhampered by any chemical or alcohol. He was with it and was able to carry on a conversation that was normal. Yet every part of his body screamed illness. He shared with me that he thinks he’s contagious with something, that there are worms that are buried in his skin….especially on the top of his head….and that he picks them out. Oh.my.word.

While we were there talking, a young man stopped by and handed him a bunch of gift cards from his wallet. He said he was sorry but didn’t have any cash on him- this was all he could offer. I looked at that exchange- so kind-hearted of the young man. But how could this man ever make use of those cards? There is no way this man, looking as he does, could ever walk into an establishment and make use of those gift cards. And if he offered those cards to a passerby, asking for them to make a purchase for him…..who would take hold of anything that had been in this man’s hand? This wasn’t leprosy, but clearly something that looked like it would indeed be highly contagious. It was oozing. It was scabbed. And there were very raw parts. We talked and talked. The gift of companionship for a man who must be so crazy lonely in this world. He lives on the fringe, not able to go in where the people are, living on the scraps of our human existence.

The Starbucks employee brought out the decaf coffee. I handed it to him and let him know that God loves Him. He asked me “are you a Christian?” Yes. “Blessings to you and your children.” He then asked if we go to church on Sundays. Yes. He looked at Jacob and Natalie and told them “if you ever feel weird praying to God, just keep doing it. Keep praying. My mom used to make me go to church, but I felt weird about it. Keep going to church.”

We drove away. We watched him walk down the sidewalk holding his coffee. As I drove home I felt a tug on my heart. I needed to go home and get some clothes for this man. The  cool night air had already set in. All this man had was a tattered red blanket and a pair of pants. So I explained to the kids that I would find something in our closet and then we’d return to give it to him. And so we did. As I drove back down Isis, I saw him walking the sidewalk headed to Rosecrans. He was about to get to the intersection where I couldn’t reach him anymore. I rolled down my window and shouted “KEVIN!!!” He didn’t hear. I shouted once more “KEEEEVINNN!!!!!” He turned, looking who might be calling his name. He saw me as I drove past and motioned for him to wait a moment. I pulled into the parking lot, rolled down my window and let him know that I had made a quick trip home. I told him he didn’t need to take it, but if it would be helpful I had a shirt, a jacket and a warm, fuzzy blanket. He smiled a big, wide smile and was beyond delighted. Many thanks were spoken. I handed him what I had brought. Just then he said “I need to keep moving, there’s a police officer.” He turned and started moving towards Rosecrans Blvd. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw the police officer roll right past my truck and out of the parking lot. Would they stop him? What are the laws with regards to transients? I don’t know. The kids were confused. Don’t the police help the homeless? I had to explain to them that the job of the police is to protect the city and the citizens. And that most citizens are afraid of people who look like Kevin. “Afraid? Why Mama?” Well, many people don’t like the looks of homeless people and get scared of what they will do or what diseases they might have, or if they’ll make bad decisions. And they don’t want homeless people in their city, making their city look bad. “But Mama then where will he go? Where will he sleep?” “I don’t know kiddos. I don’t know.”

But I do know this: God put it on my heart to give this man my absolute most-favorite blanket of all time. I cocooned myself in that blanket all winter long. A beautiful wool-like material on one side and on the other side the softest fleece/micro-fiber. I loooooooooooved that blanket. Beyond loved that blanket! And yet when I walked into my room to look for a shirt and jacket to give this man, my eyes fell on that blanket and I felt God saying “give him your prized blanket”. I didn’t even resist; I knew it was God’s tugging and I wanted to obey.

As we watched the man walk east on Rosecrans, he now had 6 things in his possession. Two of those things were in his possession when we met him (a pair of pants & a tattered blanket) and now he had four more things (a warm coffee, a shirt, a jacket and a fabulously warm, soft blanket). We more than doubled his possessions.

I can’t get his face out of my mind. His alive eyes in a skin-infested, raw, dirty, oozing body. God would you please bless him. I don’t even know how or what to pray for. But may the efforts we made to give him company, clothing and warmth this evening be something you use to bless him and bring him comfort.

Perfect happiness. Great joy. That’s what yesterday was all about from 12noon-bedtime. The morning was anything but blissful. Packing up food, camping supplies, dirty clothes and taking down 3 tents….phew…that was A LOT of work. Hard work. Sweaty work. Work I did all by myself as a mama on this Adventure Club camping trip….9 mamas and their kids. All of us homeschooling mamas…..girlfriends on this adventure of life with our children….unified in desire to have our kids experience the world in the full grandness of God’s creation. We set out on a camping trip with our kids and we did it! Man did I realize and come to fully appreciate how much work Steve does when we go on family camping trips!

When my sweet friend Greta walked over with an ice-cold Starbucks frap drink in a glass bottle that she had purchased special for me from the campground store, I felt so significant. She is such an incredibly thoughtful lady and an observant one! She had gone out of her way to bring me sweet relief from the sweaty, tough work of packing up from camping. What a treat! I held that cold glass bottle up to my cheek and sighed a happy sigh.

Together we drove our packed up vehicles to Leo Carrillo beach and that’s when the bliss began. We walked to a secluded spot where there is a section of beach without rocks. The kids played to their heart’s content in the surf without getting smashed or injured. They played together for hours upon hours. At one point I jumped in the water with them and smiled at how truly refreshing the water felt. The sun was shining, the kids were screaming with delight at the impending crashing waves, cold water was rushing all around me……this was amazing. All the harried stress of getting our campsite packed up just sloughed off my shoulders into that ocean. I was soooooo thankful my friend Greta had planned to spend the rest of the day at the beach and I could tagalong to her plans. Making the drive home as a sweaty mess and arriving home only to then spend hours unpacking the car of smoke-smelling, dirty camp clothes and oodles of boxes and bags of stuff…..no thank you. Delaying that reality by a day was the best ‘extra’ day for this camping trip. I walked up to my beach chair, sat under the shade of my umbrella and felt joyfully disconnected from the rush and madness of busy life. Sitting there getting to chit-chat with a girlfriend, watching our kids play together, reading portions of my book…..man life was good. Life was sweet. This was beautiful living as a mama and homeschool teacher. There is freedom in homeschooling. Freedom to learn about things outside of the classroom. Freedom to extend academic learning into the weekend if you want to make a getaway camping trip. Freedom to experience the big wide world as your classroom……learning what it means to live out in the wilderness and relate to Sam Gribley from My Side of the Mountain, or to catch a toad and examine it, or see the farmers toiling in the fields cutting celery and preparing it for market, or the firsthand experience of the delicate handwork of picking blueberries one by one while the sun is beating down on you, or feeling the force of the undertow in the ocean, or observing hundreds upon hundreds (literally) of sand crabs scurrying across the sand out of a cave as the waters regressed….this is beautiful learning. It’s beautiful living. I felt so grateful that my husband loves this kind of living for myself and our children. When he tells me how happy he is that we go out and have adventures, it fills me with an overwhelming love for him. He works soooooooooo hard to provide this rich life for us. He genuinely loves our outings and is happy that I’m raising our kids this way and tells me so. That is a gift to me that far exceeds the value of all the money in the world.

And then if the day couldn’t get any better- it did!! My sweet friend Greta shared with me her plans to drive up PCH to Neptune’s Net for dinner. She told me about how her kids love to get french fries there and she longs for their clam chowder. Clam chowder?!?!?! Oh.my.word. I haven’t had clam chowder in years. By that point on the beach it was getting windy and cold, so the thought of warm, chunky clam chowder sounded absolutely heavenly to my palate. Could I crash her plans?! Oh she said yes!!!! Woohoo!!!! The camping extravaganza continued. We returned to the campground, paid to take showers and then headed north for Neptune’s Net.

Sitting there in this local dive I could just imagine scores of surfers over the years who have come in to fix their appetites or where motorcyclists have made their stop along their way up the coast…..a super casual, relaxed, hip place with the smell of seafood wafting out the doors….doors upon doors of refrigerated craft beers….help-yourself ketchup and tartar sauce station….this was fun! I asked the kids what they would like for dinner, thinking they’d say something like “hamburger please” or “chicken strips please”. To my HUUUUUGE surprise Natalie said “Mom, do they serve calamari here?” What?!?!?! Did I just hear her correctly!? Oh.my.word. My daughter just requested calamari. And then Jacob asked if he could have fish. What!?! Whose children were these? My kids were requesting fish at a restaurant? Wow. I couldn’t believe my ears. So, yes, I ordered calamari, fish & chips and a half-pint of clam chowder.

I sat there feeling gloriously clean from my shower, enjoying the warmth and flavor of my clam chowder, sitting across from a girlfriend who I resonate with so deeply on so many fronts…..this was bliss. Perfect happiness. Great joy.

As we said our goodbyes to our friends and began our journey home, my sweet Natalie cried and cried. When good times end, life gets really hard for Natalie. The true evidence of how much fun she has had, really, is when she cries if it all comes to an end. I have seen it enough times to now recognize the pattern. She has cried after having had sleepovers with her cousins at Grammy and Grandpa’s house, when her Haven Academy shows have come to a close, and now this….a fun-filled 3-days of camping with her Adventure Club friends. Who wants good times to end? Not her. Not I. Can we just slip back into that beautiful world of pure reverie? She and I are so much alike in this regard. And, yet, her heart painfully aches at the goodbye to that world. So much so, that she cries. The further we drove away from our friends and that camp/beach experience, the harder she cried. We’ve debriefed about this pattern in her life enough, that she can now recognize it. Her options in life are too completely avoid ‘beautiful fun’ so as never to have to say goodbye to the experience, or to learn to cope with the super intense, painful goodbye to that fun. She, of course, doesn’t like the option of avoiding the fun that awaits her in life, so after many “mama this is soooooooo hard” exclamations of frustration and heartache, I then lead her down the path of capturing her favorite memories.

“Natalie let’s name and hang onto your 5 most favorite parts of this experience. Start off by telling me one thing that you really, really enjoyed.” And so we continued, reveling in the details of each thing she named. Smiling, laughing as we remembered.

1. Splashing in the waves with our friends.

2. Time around the campfire with our friends. The s’more-making and the story-telling. Avery’s 13 fairies story. (And then I added in how much I loved her vampire cereal story with the Baconhead family and their dog Mr. Hamburger. Loved her creativity! Her imagination!)

3. Playing tag and the microphone interview game, as we all played together between the four campsites.

4. The hot chocolate.

5. Time at Neptune’s Net with our friends.

Oh she’s so social just like me. Oh and because I’m just like her, I too know that it is good for my soul to name and hang onto memories. Perhaps that’s why I take a billion pictures and love to journal and blog. It helps me hang onto that which I love so much. So here’s my list….

• being with other mamas who love to homeschool and totally get me

• getting to build my very own campfire for the first time with an attending audience of 15 children, who cheered wildly when they saw flames dancing in the fire pit

• successfully packing for, setting up and tearing down a campsite

• the amazingly creative stories the kids made up and shared around the campfire: puppets that were chasing people……vampire cereal…..elves that bestowed wishes of motorcycles…..the bloody finger…..oh I was smiling a huge smile as I listened to their great stories and watched them ever-so-seriously deliver their stories to a captive audience, while shining a red flashlight onto their chin for full effect

• kids riding in the back of my pick-up truck around the campground; the shock, the incredulity, the excitement…..”Mama you are being a crazy mama right now”

• my mama-friends following a toad at night…capturing it….trying to recreate a habitat for it…flipping a crate over to contain it….filling a tupperware with water and seeing it jump into the water….finding another toad to add to the crate….hopeful all exits had been blocked so that they could be met by ooh’s and aah’s by the kids in the morning….the shocking discovery that both toads escaped during the night

• tacos, spaghetti, pre-cooked bacon, blueberry muffins

• going blueberry and strawberry picking

• returning from blueberry picking to find that squirrels had ripped open the trash bags and gone in search of edibles……squirrels scattering as soon as we exited our vehicles…..all but one squirrel, who instead cowered under the picnic table….Natalie’s intense desire to save the squirrel that had the massive growth on the left side of its face…..”Mama we have to take it to the California Wildlife Center” so they can take care of it…..she and I driving out to PCH so I could get cell phone reception to call the place and ask if they would advise us catching the squirrel…..asking myself “really? is this really happening that I’m going to be throwing a towel over a wild squirrel to rescue it and drive to Calabasas so it can be rehabilitated?” But I knew more than anything I wanted to be a good Mama and foster Natalie’s love for animals. I did not want to stifle or squash her care and concern for animals, so I told her I would be willing to pick up the squirrel and drive it there just so long as she knew what that would mean time-wise. It would be a 30 min. drive there, examination time and then a 30-min. drive back. We were talking about a 1-2 hour trip, which would mean not having beach time with the friends. At that point she needed think-time to ponder this very difficult decision. She ended up choosing to go to the beach.

• Jacob introducing the game Ticket to Ride to his friends. The joy on his face of being able to share a game that he loves so very, very much.

• Natalie walking around the campsites interviewing her friends, holding up our yellow flashlight as her microphone. She is such a hoot!

• a flint….teepee wood-building strategy vs. log-cabin wood-building strategy….the conversations and confidence of the boys to start a fire

• not so fun, but a memory nonetheless, of two moms dealing with their kids throwing up; …..two additional families hit by the bug a day after returning home

• Natalie walking around with one of those black-hairy caterpillars crawling on her green shirt

• Jacob and his two buddy friends sleeping in a tent all by themselves…..actually not going to sleep for a realllllllly long time, chatting the night away…..talking about all kinds of things….me not hearing Jacob’s voice anymore, certain he had fallen asleep….only to then hear him proclaim some time later “this is a great book!” after having sped-read a book his friend had recommended. Then their discussions about whoever would wake up first ought to wake up the other two. Jacob was certain he’d be the first to wake, so he promised his friends he would indeed awaken them. One friend insisting that if shaking him by the shoulders didn’t work, to jump on him to wake him up. Jacob uber excited at the prospect of getting to jump on a friend. Then the sweetness that melted my heart! The 3 boys decided to pray together. Oh.my.word. My mama heart was bleeding. All on their own accord they decided to take turns lifting up their thanks to God for the wonders of the day. I was in awe and beyond thankful for their faith in action.

This trip was so good for my soul. It started off rough and harried and a TON of hard work. Hours upon hours of prep and packing. I kept telling myself “this IS going to be worth it. Really. It will be.” Longing to be a kid again where I could just show up to a camping trip and experience the fun and joy of all the play. All this packing up and getting it all in the truck- oh.my.word. definitely not a fun part of being a grown-up. But as I anticipated, the trip was an incredible adventure and a wonderful memory to tuck into our hearts and minds forever. A shaping, formative moment. As Steve encouraged me upon our return, “it was really good for Natalie and Jacob to see that a Mama can do a trip like that all on her own.” Indeed. Historic for myself. An accomplishment and sense of success.

I was soooooo thankful to have had 3 days. The first day was all about hard work. The second day I began to unwind. By the third day, I was fully relaxed and experiencing bliss. So grateful for our new cherished friends. So thankful for the adventure of this trip with them.

“Soooooooo, I came up with a reeeeeeeally crazy idea for my birthday.” Steve looked at me with a pensive glance, trying to imagine what in the world would come out of my mouth knowing full-well it would probably far surpass whatever he could conjure. “I thought of something that represents so much of who I am and what I enjoy. I looooooove road trips. I think it’s really important to keep alive the ‘do something spontaneous’ part  of me. I looooooove going all-out on whatever subject the kids and I are studying for homeschool.” A smile started to curl on Steve’s face. Oh boy, what crazy idea was Marina about to present?

Just the night before while the house was still, everyone fast asleep, I had been up late planning homeschool lessons. With our current unit of study on amphibians, I was searching that topic on the BrainPop website (one of our all-time favorite educational websites, with Tim, a boy and his robot Moby). I searched for ‘amphibians’, watched the accompanying video, clicked on the FYI section…..and then ‘lo and behold came across this very interesting piece of information:

“Calaveras County is a rural area in central California, in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada Mountains. More than 150 years ago, it boomed during the California Gold Rush, but since then, things have become fairly quiet- except for one week each May, when the area hosts its annual County Fair and Jumping Frog Jubilee.

The Jubilee takes its name from a short story written by Mark Twain in the 1860s, called “The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County.” In the story, a compulsive gambler bets $40 that his frog can jump farther than any other frog in the area- and loses when a rival takes the bet and shots the frog before it can jump.

The contest held at the Jubilee is a lot less violent, but incredibly popular. Some 35,000 people attend each year, and more than 2,000 frogs participate in the initial rounds of the jumping contest, with the top 50 frogs qualifying for the final round, known as the International Frog Jump Grand Finals.

Currently, the frog-jumping record is 21 feet, 5 3/4 inches, set in 1986 by a frog named Rosie the Ribbeter. If your frog breaks the record, you win a cash prize of $5,000. So start looking for a frog with powerful legs- it just might win you some money!”

And that led me on a rabbit trail of Mapquesting “Calaveras County”, looking up primary documents of Mark Twain’s famous short story, looking up the website for the Fair and reading the weekend’s schedule of events, watching YouTube videos about the Kitchell family members that have won the frog jumping contest for the past 3 years…….and that’s when the crazy idea was born. Would we? Could we? Oh my word….driving 407 miles north to go see a frog jumping contest?! But man what are the chances?!?! It’s my birthday weekend…..the Grand Finals are at 3pm on Sunday, May 18th, my actual birthday……and we are in the middle of an amphibian unit as part of homeschool!!!! Oh this seemed just right. Perfectly crazy and absolutely zany idea of fun.

And, yet, I went to bed that Thursday night thinking it was perhaps a tad bit too crazy. It wasn’t even a long weekend. Driving 407 miles up north and then 407 miles back, all in one weekend? Not to mention that Jacob had his all-important, potentially last baseball game of his first AAA season that would determine if his team won 1st place in the second half of the season. That game was from 11:15-1:15pm. We couldn’t leave before then. Natalie had her piano class from 1:30-2:00pm. We wouldn’t be able to hit the road until after all of that. So I didn’t even mention the idea to Steve when he woke up early to go to work on Friday morning. Mid-Friday Steve texted me saying that the Seniors from his high school were leaving for Grad Night on Saturday at 4pm. He was letting me know he would have to be at the bus, checking kids for departure. Oh okay. Well that put the nail in the coffin of this crazy Calaveras County road trip idea. There was no way we were going to begin a nearly thousand mile journey, starting after 4pm on Saturday. So there we were Friday night, Steve and I enjoying each other’s company on a spontaneous date night at a local restaurant, sipping our margaritas, when I shared all the crazy thoughts I had conjured up for a birthday road trip. I shared with him my whole thought process…..where the idea had been born, the rabbit trails I had pursued in research, the flurry of excitement I had felt in the imagining of it and the realization that hit me of how it was something I needed to let go of when he texted he’d have to be at school at 4pm for the bus send off. But do you know what happened next??????? That’s when he looked at me and said “but that doesn’t mean we still couldn’t do it. If that’s how you would like to celebrate your birthday, let’s do it.”

What?!!??!!?!?!?!? Was I hearing right? Did Steve just say we could begin a thousand mile road trip after 4pm on Saturday?!?!?!? WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!??!?? I stared into his eyes and read complete, genuine interest in the entertainment of this crazy road trip idea. Oh.my.word. He was serious! I could feel my excitement growing in anticipation that this idea might still materialize. I explained to him that I have a desire to keep alive the part of us that is willing to live with spontaneity, to make some decisions that just don’t make sense. And my husband was willing to make it happen! Oh my word I was loving him sooooooo much in that moment. This type of road trip goes against all common sense. It’s not practical. It’s extravagant. Who in the world drives nearly 1,000 miles and enjoys a fair all within 30 hours? The Wallises- that’s who!!!!

And so…….our road trip began. Here is where it got even crazier! By the time we were packed and ready to roll from the day’s activities…..it was 6:30pm. Yup. That’s how the Wallises roll.

It is one of the greatest feelings as a Mama, to know that snuggling with my children puts them at complete ease and helps them fall into deep sleep. I know the days are limited when they will ask “Mama, will you snuggle with me?” It surprises me that I still have the privilege and honor, being beckoned in the evening by my six-year old girl and eight-year old boy. A time will come, I tell myself, when their doors will be closed and they will prefer to retreat into their own world, by themselves. And that will be okay; they will be on the road to complete independence (at least that’s what I keep telling myself). But for now I soak up every second and minute of snuggle time that they ask for. Our lives are so fleeting. What a gift to just snuggle and hold each other in our arms. What a gift to still get to sit on the couch before bedtime and read books to them. What a gift to sit between the two of them, with a giant pile of library books on my lap, reading the titles aloud and giving them options of what books catch their fancy. To then hold the books upright on my lap, each of them taking turns flipping through, flicking one book forward at a time, perusing the choices, carefully examining the cover illustrations, title and font choice all as possible predictors of whether the story will be one they enjoy or not…..talk about the complete opposite of “don’t judge a book by its cover”. Ha! Here, nightly, books are indeed judged by their covers. What a treat it is, to sit snuggled between the two of them, reading books aloud to them. They love it. I love it.

Then off to bed they go. I tuck each of them in, singing “Jesus Loves Me” and saying prayers together; prayers of thanks as well as holding up people in prayer before our Lord. As of recently Jacob now sings or hums the harmony while I sing the melody. For the past 8 years, each night as we’ve tucked him into bed, we’ve sung to him “Jesus Loves Me”. We’ve done this ever since he was a wee little baby. If I calculate 8 years x 365 nights/year of singing this, we’ve sung this 2,920 times to him thus far (minus some missed nights here or there for extenuating circumstances)! Wow, I didn’t even fully realize the sheer quantity of times we’ve sung this song. These words are so simple and yet carry such profoundly deep truth. I pray that these words are deep in his thoughts and that the truth of Jesus’ love for him, is at the core of his understanding of who he is and how truly valuable he is. Within the past weeks when he started singing harmony, I was amazed. He can hear/visualize the notes I sing and then sing other decorative notes that complement and add to the ones I’m singing. What a fun new stage of bedtime tuck-in’s. I can only imagine that he has been carefully studying and listening to our worship team at church, hearing how they sing melody and harmony and how beautiful it all sounds together.

Jesus loves me this I know

For the Bible tells me so

Little ones to Him belong

They are weak but He is strong

Yes, Jesus loves me

Yes, Jesus loves me

Yes, Jesus loves me

The bible tells me so

Natalie’s approach to the song is different. She loves to add in sounds at the rests. After I sing each line, she adds in a note or two, sometimes serious and sometimes silly, sometimes understandable in words, other times just audible sounds. She loves to anticipate the rests and jump in at that very moment with her own sounds to add. Her timing is impeccable; always ready to jump in at the perfect moment of rest and always the perfect note length before I start in on the next line. She is such a hoot! She’s my silly, funny, zany one. She makes me laugh and smile. Oh my word, the other night she started us in on a massive tickle fest. I don’t think I’ve laughed that hard from being tickled in a really, really, really, really long time. Her tiny squirmy fingers could just find the perfect sized pockets of space between my arms that I was using to shield my neck, and began to tickle me like crazy. I completely lost it in laughter. She didn’t relent and I kept laughing. She thought it was the most hilarious thing ever that she was able to unarm me and get me that delirious with laughter. That was a precious moment- we had never had a tickle fest before and she indeed won!

So tonight like usual, they both asked if I would lay next to them and just snuggle for a few minutes. So I did. Natalie loves to fall asleep lying on her left side. Jacob loves to fall asleep lying on his right side. They both face the wall and I lie there next to them with my arm over them. I don’t know what it is about having Mama lie next to them, if it’s a subconscious return to feeling/hearing their Mama’s beating heart from when they were being formed in my womb, or if it’s just the warmth that comes from being next to someone, or hearing my steady breath….but whatever it is, it is suuuuuuuuch a joy to feel them relax and just fall into sleep. There is comfort there for them; a sweet repose in their mama’s arms. Oh just like when they were little babies, I can tell when they fall asleep because all of a sudden they get super heavy. It’s as if there whole body just lets go and they become heavy like a sack of potatoes. Sometimes there’s super short random twitches of a leg or an arm- that’s when I know they’re already in deep, deep sleep.

What a joy. I love getting to snuggle with my kiddos. They are such lovable kids. I’m so thankful that for those few minutes, everything in life stands still. They find peace and contentment in my arm’s embrace and I get to just hold them, quietly pray for their future and lift them up before our Lord, thinking of who they are becoming and expectant to see what plans the Lord will have for them.

May 7, 2014

I am thankful for so many things as a mama, but one thing in particular really makes my heart go pitter patter. The way my kids love books. The way they stock up on books anytime we head out to the car. We might be making a simple trip to the grocery store but one thing is for sure- they will have a book open before we even back out the driveway. The longer we’ll be in the car, the greater the pile of books that make their way into the car. Seeing them push books aside to try to snap their seatbelt buckle in place makes my mama heart proud. My kids love to devour books. I count it a blessing that both of them do. Now car rides are quiet. Last year during car rides Jacob would be trying to read but natalie was singing or chattering away trying to engage him in conversation. It is such a joy that she too has such a hunger and delight in chapter books. I am so appreciative that she too is now a proficient reader capable of entering a world of words all on her own. They devour books as though they were pieces of candy.
Today as we exited the library with heaping armfuls of books, I popped the trunk of the car so we could each drop in our armload. Jacob said “oh mama mama can I please grab one of the hardy boy books and the book on tree frogs, please?” I thought to myself “the drive home is no longer than 7 or 8 minutes. Really you want two books?” But instead I acknowledged my deep gratitude for how much he loves books and said “sure”.

May 3, 2014

Somewhere over the rainbow….
Natalie sang this sweet song to me last night as I lay next to her in bed. She was sky-high with beautiful joy having just completed the opening night of her Wizard of Oz production. Hearing her 6-year old sweet girl voice sing these words softly into my ear was like receiving a gift from heaven. I lay there looking at her twinkling eyes, wanting to soak up every ounce of the joy and childhood sweet innocence of that moment. These moments won’t last forever. So I lay there knowing full well that though it was 10:30pm she couldn’t yet fall asleep because of all the adrenaline that was still pumping through her from the show time of that evening. When she gets on stage she simply beams. She lights up on stage and is radiant with joy. Oh how she loves to sing and dance on stage!!!

This is her 5th show that she’s been in:
1) Narnia- she was a mouse
2) Aladdin- she was a monkey
3) Little Mermaid- she was a
4) Beauty and the Beast- she was a napkin
5) Wizard of Oz-
Now this was big!!!! Huge!!!! She couldn’t believe that she was given 3 parts! Three costume changes?!!!! She was over the moon with excitement. Absolutely thrilled!!!! “Mama, mama, mama I get to be City Father #2 AND a poppy AND a flying monkey!!!!!!”

This meant sooooooo much to her. In a kid’s world this is a really BIG promotion. Huge!

I have loved watching my baby girl grow in her confidence and courage. Being on stage performing in front of 350+ people is no small feat. I’ve grown so accustomed to watching Haven Academy of the Arts productions that I forget what a really, really big deal it is for a child, or anyone for that matter, to stand up in front of a large audience to speak

“Mom, can we play a game?”

That’s usually code word for “Quality time is my favorite love language, but I don’t know about that yet, but I do know that sitting with you for a prolonged period of time is really important to me.” Jacob loves, loves, loves to play board games. I’m sure it’s a mix of the mental strategist in him that loves to have his brain spurred on to challenges and the part of him that yearns for quality time, sitting still in one place with someone. He loves, loves, loves to play games. Faithfully his Daddy sits with him each and every morning before he heads off to work to play a game with him. The days, far and few between, when Daddy needs to leave earlier than 7am and can’t squeeze in the time, there is profound effect on Jacob. His heart yearns for that one-on-one quality time.

But today when he walked up to me and asked “Mom, can we play a game?” I could tell from his eyes that something deeper was going on. I asked him, “Buddy, what’s going on? What’s the matter?” Thankfully he is able to put into words the feelings he has. That is one thing I’m proud of- that our family is being built on the sharing of our thoughts and feelings. He couldn’t come right out with it and needed to first ask if he could have that one-on-one time. But as soon as my eyes locked with his, I could tell he wanted to be known. The worry. The stress. The fear of failure. The fear of being a disappointment. Today marks the first day he will pitch in his AA baseball game. The coach gave him the heads-up that in today’s game at some point he’ll put him on the mound. Wow. In watching this season unfold, I’ve seen more than ever before how much of baseball is a mental sport. There is a mental toughness athletes need to have to play baseball. You need to be okay having everyone watching you when you’re up at bat…..I mean everyone….every player from both teams, the coaches, the parents in the bleachers….that’s a lot of pressure and focus on one athlete. You need to be able to stand up to that. That takes courage and mental strength- to walk up to that plate and be in the mindset of attacking the ball. And now today he is going to take on the challenge of pitching. Standing there on the mound, trying to focus on the 1,2, 3 steps of pitching. Trying not to let balls or walks or runs affect him. Being able to focus on pitching regardless of things happening or being said. He is hoping with all his might to throw strikes. But chances are that many balls will be thrown. And that’s okay.

We were able to sit down in the living room and talk through all this with him. He had so much buried deep inside: deep, unnerving worries that started messing with his confidence. Worry that he’ll disappoint the coach. Worry that if he doesn’t perform well, he’ll never get another chance to pitch. Worry that he’ll throw a wild ball and injure the batter. Worry that runs will be scored on account of him. Worry that he’ll throw balls and no strikes. Worry that his teammates will be disappointed. Oh.my.word. So glad we were able to sit with him, hug him and tell him ‘it’s all going to be okay. We are so proud of you for being willing to take on the challenge. We offered to him to let him tell the coach he’s not quite ready yet for that pressure. He said, ‘no, I really want to try.”

In 15 minutes he steps into a world that requires a great deal of bravery and courage and mental toughness. Being on this team is such an incredibly good growing experience for him. Though it makes my mama-heart worry for him, I know this is shaping him to become an even more amazing person. He is learning the skills of intense focus. The skill of being able to tune everything out. The skill to say “no matter what happens, I will continue to persevere”. To realize that even if he doesn’t throw what he wants, there’s always another opportunity. That bravery and courage of his, I am so proud of. So very, very proud of.

I’m so beyond thankful that he could feel all of that welling up within him. He was in touch with his feelings. Perhaps to some that’s not being masculine. But in my book- that’s the best kind of guy in the world! A guy who can be tough and courageous and yet at the same time be able to verbalize his feelings and be well aware of what’s going on in his heart. My stomach is tied up in knots for my boy today. I couldn’t even eat lunch in light of all this. I’m nervous for him and proud of him all in one.

Can’t wait for today’s game to start. 8 minutes and counting.

Perfect weather + Family time = Awesomeness

This morning Natalie squealed with excitement when we told her it was the day of Ciclavia. “YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!” she exclaimed. Then off she ran to her room to get dressed for the day. The kids have looked forward to our Ciclavia outings for the past couple of years. What an absolute joy to ride bikes for 3 hours together, pumping our legs up hills and cruising down hills with the wind blowing in our faces. We began our route at the furthest west end of the event: Wilshire & Fairfax.  9:15am. Passed LACMA and the LaBrea Tar Pits. The kids absolutely love this event because they get to ride their bikes in the street. Big streets. All lanes of traffic are closed off to cars. It’s just bikes. Bikes, bikes, bikes. Hundreds and thousands of bikes. I love this event too because it draws all kinds of Angelenos to the streets. It’s a spectacular people-watching event. You have athletic bike riders with their slick street bikes, three year olds learning on their bikes with training wheels, older men with tattoos and long hair on their low-rider bikes and beatbox music blaring from their boom boxes and everyone in between. All ages. All kinds of faces. All kinds of bikes. Tandems, Velomobiles, Unicycles, Mountain bikes, Street bikes, BMX bikes, Beach Cruisers and more. It’s truly a fabulous event.

The kids were powering up Wilshire Blvd. on its hilly portions. We all especially looooooved the downhill coast towards MacArthur Park. The wind was blowing in our face, the blue sky, the view of the lake of the park and its huge fountain of water spraying looked so refreshing, bikes everywhere. That was a great moment. Loved that moment.

Not too long after that Jacob had an unfortunate fall. Just as he was pumping his legs to climb a hill, the chain from his bike fell off. Doh! He landed haaaaaard on the asphalt. I was certain he was going to get up with a bloody face and/or bits of asphalt embedded in his elbows. Road rash on his left knee- thankfully that was all. He was pretty shaken up. It was amazing- what felt like seconds, we had two police, one Ciclavia volunteer and a road marshall all at our side. They were there as we were peeling him off the street and getting his bike off to the side. The immediate emergency attention was astounding. They talked to Jacob to find out if he was going to be okay, they gave us all we needed to deal with his bloody knee and they helped us get the chain back on his bike. Incredible help just at the moment we needed it. I was thankful. 

Could he shake it off? We tried having him continue by walking alongside as Steve walked his bike and Jacob’s bike. But the further we continued on the route it became clear that perhaps it was prudent to make a u-turn and begin the trek back home. We were almost at the 6-mile end of the Ciclavia route…..within 1/2 a mile of the final hub. Ohhhh we had come so close to the end of the route. Steve had just said aloud to me “This will be the first year we complete the whole route.” Jinx.

5.5 miles each way….11 miles roundtrip, an accomplishment all in itself. One worthy of our traditional stop for Yogurtland en route. The past few routes have been through the Downtown LA corridor and this one stretching the Wilshire Blvd. corridor was a new, unfamiliar route to us. They were so excited to see the Yogurtland along the route!

We also made a stop on the red carpet laid out by the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures. There we were able to make our own personal flip-books! How fun to watch our 7-seconds of motion turned into a 58 page flip book! Each kiddo got to make their own and we also made a family one. All for free! That was very exciting and something we had never done before.

With our flip books in hand, a final goodbye photo with the Oscar statue, we packed up our bikes and headed back home. So thankful that our kiddos love the great outdoors, adventure and exercise.

Rounded out the day with playing baseball in the backyard, a family game of Ticket to Ride and an evening church service. An awesome day. So thankful. Even Charlie had a great day- new tennis balls and several games of catch. He was a happy camper too.

Today as I looked out the window, my heart was all kinds of happy. Jacob and Natalie were splashing away in the jacuzzi. It’s their giant bathtub or miniature pool, however you want to look at it. They love it! This morning Natalie begged Steve, “can we pleeeeeeease go in the jacuzzi today?” He set it to 88. They splashed, played, cannon-balled, jumped, splashed, sprinkled, dove……you name it. The squeals of delight and peals of laughter were beautiful. The mile-wide smiles on their faces were precious beyond words. These are the days. Days of joy. Days of beautiful sibling relationship. Relaxing days when I can be making dinner with an eye on them while they are joyfully independent.