thewallises

Yesterday as I was about to drop off Natalie to her enrichment class at school, she burst into tears. What just happened to my happy girl? Just minutes prior all was well. “Mama I’ve been thinking about this and haven’t told you yet…..” sobs….tears rolling down her cheeks…..”Mama, people say my voice is too loud. They tell me that I need to be more quiet when I talk. I can’t help it that my voice is loud. I try to talk softer, but even then people say I’m too loud. In my head I hear myself talking more quiet, but it comes out loud.” Bright, shiny tears rolling on her beautiful cheeks. My joy-filled girl was no longer joyful. Deep inside she was pained by comments that had been spoken over days, weeks and perhaps even a few months. And right then in that moment her heart was bursting and she wanted to tell me. I immediately thought of a book I had once read….it is SO true…you simply cannot plan for quality time with your child. The quality, deep times happen in the midst of quantity of time. Hours upon hours, days upon days of togetherness and I could not have planned or anticipated we would be having that deep moment of her broken heart just as she was about to exit the minivan to head off to her cooking class. I assured her I heard the hurt of her heart. I offered to let her come back home with me to continue talking about it. She said, ‘no, she wanted to go to cooking class.’ I let her know that there are situations where her louder voice are a gift. For instance, when we went hiking up at Mt. Baldy and she and others wanted to hike back down the dry river bed. The moms were all going down the mountainside on the trail. It was so helpful to our mama’s ears to be able to hear Natalie from a distance. We knew exactly where the kiddos were on their adult-less journey down the river bed. The moms found comfort in knowing they wouldn’t get separated/lost from us, because we could consistently track Natalie’s voice. That story seemed to comfort her a bit. Off she went, with tear-stained cheeks and red eyes to her cooking class.

70 minutes later I was in the valet pick-up lane at school, waiting for Natalie and Jacob to exit their classes. Out they came, bounding for the car and smiling. I thought to myself “oh perhaps the cooking class helped her”. Nope. She sat in her seat, put her seatbelt on and no sooner had the door automatically slid shut when she looked at me and said “Mama, people don’t like my voice. They say I’m too loud.” Oh my heart sank for her. She has been carrying this weight with her amidst her days. She goes through the routine of school and homeschool, seemingly joy-filled and yet deep, deep down her spirit is unsettled and restless and hurt by the comments some have made about her being so loud.

There is no denying that she is loud. She is indeed loud. Everything about her is done with power and fullness and intensity. She plays the piano keys forcefully. She jumps for joy at the sight of her daddy coming home from work- running with full abandon to the front door to throw herself into his arms. She needs much, much, much less sleep than her older brother. It’s like she has an internal energy engine.  She shouts “hooray” louder than anyone in a room. She gives super tight rib-crushing hugs. She used to knock her friends over with her hugs; they didn’t anticipate the force that came with her embrace. Everything about her is full-power.

Well that same day of the tears…..was also the night of the final World Series Game between the San Francisco Giants and the Kansas City Royals. It was tied 3-3 in the number of games each had won up until that point. Tonight was THE final game to determine the winner of the baseball championship. It was a very close game. A nail-biting game. The Giants won!!!!!!!! It was awesome! Daddy jumped on the leather couch. (btw he neeeeeeever jumps on furniture; it only happens if/when the Giants win!) But this was a big deal! The kids couldn’t believe they were watching their grown father jumping on the couch. Of course they jumped into the fun as well. I just looked on disapprovingly. Ha! 🙂

Well how do you wind down super excited kids? It was past their bedtime and they had just witnessed a World Series win for daddy’s favorite team! Energy was high. I called them over to the couch to read a few nighttime stories. I picked up this book:

Jacob was the first to say “Mom, I’ve already read that book.” Then Natalie chimed in “Mama, I already read that book too.” I chuckled in my head, thinking back to the days of old when they wanted me to read the same book over and over and over and over again. There was a time when they were little when reading the same book 50 times was a delight. Now they’re at the stage where a re-reading seems unnecessary. They want to experience a new storyline.

I simply said “But the Giants just won the World Series! This book is perfect for how Daddy is feeling!!!” Indeed, they agreed, that was true. Little did I know that God was going to use this book to speak to Natalie and I.

Here’s the story (well, at least most of it):

The kiddos smiled and giggled as I read the story. My voice was definitely straining to keep up with all the exclamations in the book! It’s tiring reading that emphatically for so many exclamatory sentences. But I do it because I know it helps my kiddos delight in books. I love that they love books. I love to read with them. They both squealed with delight at the page that said “Home run!” It was perfect for this evening of the World Series winning game. It was a baseball-related exclamation!

I read one other book and then tucked them into bed. As I was getting ready for bed myself, the thought occurred to me, “Natalie is an exclamation point!” oh my goodness….that story is about her…..today she was crying saying she doesn’t fit in….her voice is too loud…..she’s not like all the other kids…..oh wow! I lifted up my thoughts into a prayer to the Lord. “Oh Lord, would you please help Natalie find confidence in being an exclamation point. You created her. Help her to find meaning and purpose in being an exclamation point.”

And then today He answered that prayer. Wow. I’m so grateful. A day after her tears were shed and the book was read and the prayer lifted up……she and I were sitting on the grass field, having just dropped off Jacob for his soccer practice. Again, a moment of quality time in simply being together. I think she could feel how unhurried we were, sitting there, and she began to share with me about a very, very, very, very special thing that happened to her at school today. “Mama, today my heart burst with joy!” she exclaimed. A radiant smile on her face. “What happened today, Natalie?” “Oh Mama, Mama….Ms. Robin was standing by the bookshelf and asked me which book I would like to read aloud to the class. I was shocked Mama! I couldn’t believe it! Inside I was bursting with joy. She asked me to read to the class!!!!!” Oh how the exclamatory sentences were flying from her mouth. Here she was, in her prime, in who God has created her to be. Full of life. Full of zest. Full of energy. “Mama, first she pulled one book and asked if I had ever read that book. I hadn’t. So then I picked out ‘One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish’ by Dr. Seuss. I definitely knew that story. So Mama guess what?!?! The Core 5 girl who helps in class had just played the piano for all of us. And then Ms. Robin said to the class, ‘Class now we have another treat…..Natalie is going to read a book to you.’ Ohhhhhhhh Mama, she said I was a treat. She used the word ‘treat’. That made me feel sooooooooooo special inside. Mama my heart was bursting with even more joy!!! And then Mama right after she said they would have the treat of me reading a book to them, I heard kids cheering and clapping and saying ‘yay!!!!’ Mama that also filled my heart with soooooooooo much joy!!!!!! And when she announced it, I specifically heard Kayla, who sits up front, shout ‘YAY!!!’ ”

“Oh my sweet Natalie, do you especially like Kayla? Did it mean a lot to you that Kayla cheered for you?” “Yes, Mama.” “Oh and Mama there’s even more! So when Ms. Robin reads to us, she pulls a chair out and puts it in front of the class. Guess what?!! She let ME sit on a chair in front of the class!!!! Mama do you know how special that made me feel?! REALLY special! All the kids were sitting on the rug looking at me. I held out my arm like this and held up the book just like teachers do. And then I started reading. The kids even laughed at the funny parts.” “Oh my sweet Natalie, that tells me you were reading with emphasis and great tones!”

“Natalie, has Ms. Robin had other students read aloud to the class?” “No Mama”

“Last year when you were in her class for 1st grade, did she ask any students to read aloud to the class?” “No Mama”

“Oh Natalie do you know what this means? Do you remember how yesterday you were crying because your voice is considered too loud by some people? Do you remember how I read to you the story about the exclamation point last night? Well, last night I said a prayer to God after I tucked you into bed. I asked Him to let you know that He created you to be an exclamation point and that’s okay. That it’s fabulous you are an exclamation point. And you know what? Today He answered my prayer. I believe He prompted your teacher’s heart to ask you to read aloud today. She knows that you have a loud enough voice that will carry to the ears of all the children sitting on the rug. If someone with a very soft voice got up front to read a book, there would be children who would be unable to hear the story. Your voice carries. Ms. Robin knew that your voice could carry the words of the story into each of the corners of the classroom. All would be able to hear and enjoy the story. She also knew that you know how to read with enthusiasm. That when you read, you can add tones to the characters and use your voice inflections to carry words in an interesting way to the listening ears. She knew this about you Natalie. And so the very thing you were crying about yesterday, was the very talent that Ms. Robin called upon to be a gift and treat to your class today. Today your loud voice was celebrated.

And that’s when I realized it was no coincidence that God prompted me to pull out the exclamation point story last night. That helped me see and treasure my exclamation point girl. It helped give me words for a specific prayer last night. I was beyond grateful for the perfect timing of her teacher’s request of Natalie today. Perfect, beautiful timing. A request that had never been made to Natalie or any other student this year nor last school year. But today it happened. The very next day after Natalie shed tears for her loud voice, that very part of her was celebrated. Yesterday she felt ashamed. Today her confidence soared. She is my exclamation point and I will forever make a point of celebrating her for that!

Wow…..it started with the purchase of deodorant this summer….

last week he got glasses…..(which by the way he looks SO handsome with)

and yesterday I took him shopping for new basketball shoes. Wowsas! This boy just doesn’t stop growing. As he placed his foot on the youth-sized shoe measurement, the store clerk gasped “oh wow. we need to measure him with the men-sized shoe measurement”. Yes, that’s right, my 8-year old boy now wears 7 1/2 in men’s shoes!

As a result, his basketball shoe choice went from a selection of four available shoes to a selection of 30 different ones! Wow! His eyes lit up at all the different choices before him. Wow. Wow. Wow. This was a boy’s dream come true- looking at all the colors and types of styles in the men’s dept. of basketball shoes. And let me tell you what my eyes noticed?! Yes, in the “youth” dept. basketball shoes were ranging in price from $29-$59. Now in the adult section they range in price from $59-$129. Dude!  Okay, adult world of higher prices- here we come.

It is a joy, though, to see the excitement on Jacob’s face as he grows up and enters the world of ‘grown-up’ stuff. My little baby is not a baby anymore. He’s growing up to be a man.

Each morning, I’ve learned, that a breakfast of protein is key to the successful start to the day for all of us. A carb-only type of breakfast leaves me hungry a couple hours later, or less. If only given cereal or pancakes or french toast, my kiddos are more disagreeable in the morning.  Isn’t that weird? It’s definitely true. There are more arguments and irritability in the morning on those days. However, if protein is a significant aspect of the breakfast then WOW! my kiddos are patient, loving and kind with one another. Isn’t that crazy? It is an absolutely fascinating phenomenon to me. So guess what?! I make sure to always have protein options ready for breakfast!!! Somehow that protein gives their bodies the fuel it needs to do all of its growing, functioning, moving and thinking and still there’s enough energy left over to extend love in action. Irritable, argumentative tones somehow magically vanish with bacon, ham or eggs. Amazing.

So this morning as I stood in the kitchen for what felt like 35-40 minutes cutting off all the fat from the bacon strips, I thought to myself “man, cutting fat from bacon sure is a labor of love!” Here I am cutting off all this disgusting fat, so that I can fry up the meaty aspect of bacon to get the sought after protein without all the nasty, unhealthy fat of it. I do this so that my kiddos and I can have a peaceful, beautiful morning together. Perhaps I should look into buying some premium bacon at specialty shops- where it’s big, thick slabs of bacon with more meat than fat. Because let me tell you, the Costco packs of Farmer John bacon and even the Vons packs of all kinds of bacon…..all of it has soooooo much fat on each slice! I used to just cook it all in the pan and then dry to soak up all the fat with paper towels when I took the bacon out of the pan. But that’s gross. Not to mention I would have at least an inch or more of liquid fat sizzling in my pan. Disgusting. So now I take the time to cut off the fat while the bacon is still uncooked. There’s also the method of baking it in the oven- but then you have fatty, greasy cookie sheets and liquid fat in your foil-covered baking sheets.

Anyway, I look at my time standing here in the kitchen cutting off bacon fat as my small offering of love in action for my kiddos. It will help them get started on a great day. Isn’t that funny? But that’s the loving work and sacrifice of a mama.

🙂

Learning through adventures is such a joy! There are SO many opportunities to learn in context and to make deep, lasting connections. Man, I love living in Los Angeles- being able to find and experience so many adventures with our family. I love that all of these experiences all happened in one week of our living…..

We hiked a 2.5 mile trail on Mt. Baldy.  Jacob met the Mission Specialist at SpaceX.

Natalie attended a lecture by Steve Winter, a renown National Geographic photographer. 

We watched the Blue Angels, Patriots, Hornets, Harriers and more at the Miramar Air Show. 

We biked several miles through the Heart of Los Angeles at the Ciclavia event. 

A full, incredible week. I am so thankful and feel so privileged that we get to live and learn in these ways.

If I had a camera in my hands this morning, I would have wanted to take a snapshot. The moment was precious. It was heartwarming. It was dear. It was what a mother’s heart yearns for and cherishes. It was worth more than all the gold in the world. Jacob and Natalie sat on their stools at the breakfast counter, intently listening to my reading aloud of Ginger Pye, the chapter book we are going through, and they had their heads touching, wanting to be super close to each other. There they sat nestled against each other’s crowns, their eyes sparkling with excitement as they listened to the words of the book. They stared at each other lovingly, they gave each other eskimo kisses and they laughed heartily together. I couldn’t believe my eyes. This was heavenly. Not all mornings are like this. Sometimes one or the other needs their space or is a bit irritated about something that the other one has said or done. But in general they are best friends. They deeply love one another. They are good, good friends. They long for each other’s company. Their friendship is a gift to this mama’s heart. I pray that this friendship continue for their whole lives long. Before breakfast they had been out in the backyard rip-sticking together. They had set up a very elaborate obstacle course of random items: a boogie board, a baseball mitt, two soccer balls, a tennis racket, a scooter and a balance. Very, very happily they were making sharp turns trying to avoid the items all the while encouraging each other with hoorays for each accomplished completed route through the course. When I dropped them off at school, they happily ran off together to the entrance; bounding with joy. I am so thankful today for the confident children that they are; how much they love each other and are convinced that they are loved. I am a thankful Mama today who wants to hold onto this morning’s sweetness.

Eeks. I just drove away from the main Nikon repair shop where all broken Nikon cameras in Los Angeles go to get repaired. It felt so strange leaving my camera and two lenses there. Bizarre feeling. They wrote down a few numbers, put it all in a cardboard box and said I could anticipate an email within 24 hours of review by a technician. If I approve whatever cost/repair they recommend, it will be 7-10 business days before it is ready for pick-up. I love my camera. I loooooove taking pictures. My photographs are how I chronicle my life and my family’s life. They serve a very important role in the place of my faulty memory. As I drove away, leaving my very important camera with people I didn’t know but somehow am expected to trust, it made me start thinking about all the things/people we trust. Last week when I was at Knott’s Berry Farm getting buckled into a seat of  the crazy insane Supreme Scream 250-ft drop ride, I had the exact same thought: “Wow, I sure am putting a lot of trust in whoever designed this ride and manufactured this safety harness.” I know there are a lot things I trust without even thinking about it. For instance, I trust that other drivers will stop when they see a red light. More than anything I want to remain forever conscious of the fact that the Lord calls me to trust in Him daily.

Yesterday I asked Jacob if he would like to help me make some banana-vanilla wafer-pudding. “Sure, mom!” So I handed him the vanilla pudding I had already prepared, a cutting board, knife, several bananas and the bag of vanilla wafer cookies. He had watched his sister the week before make the very same dessert, so he knew what he needed to do. He began slicing bananas and then proceeded to layer all the ingredients together in a bowl. Seeing that he was fully aware of how to prepare the dessert, I moved on to doing some housework.

Jacob called me over. “Mom, mom! Come look!!” So I walked over to see what he wanted to show me. Oh.my.word. Ha! I love how my son’s brain is wired. Here he is making a pudding dessert but he’s thinking about space. “Check this out Mom! I made the grid design of the engines of the original Falcon 9 version 1” “And look Mom!!!! Watch! I’m going to now make the Octaweb design of the later Falcon 9 engines, using the cookies!”

Wow! Who thinks of rocket engine configurations while making a pudding dessert? Yes- my 8 year old son. How did that thought even enter his mind? How does handling banana slices and vanilla wafer cookies trigger a memory of a research project he did last April? We ended last school year with a H-U-G-E unit on Space. He thoroughly researched SpaceX’s rockets and even got to go on a tour to the facility. I stood here in our kitchen in awe of how the neurons in his brain fire off and make connections. This is pure awesomeness! He clearly must have loved, loved, loved that unit on Space!

Falcon 9 (v.1) original engine configuration        Falcon 9 (v. 1.1) Octaweb configuration

So right now I’m feeling all kinds of guilty that I’m choosing to sit down and journal while there is soooooooo much to be done around the house. But the reality is that if I don’t take these moments right now to reflect and record today’s special moment, I’ll want to draw on this special memory in years to come, but my mind will fail me. I wish I had the type of memory that remembered all things- big and small. But oftentimes even the big things don’t have much stickiness in my memory. I’m not sure what that’s all about….so I journal and blog to try to hold onto the memories.

This afternoon we met up with our friends at “The Bay”. It’s a very, very special place. The  calm, waveless water by Long Beach/Seal Beach, right near Naples. A gorgeous place. A calm place. A place of many, many fun times for Jacob and Natalie. It is here that we meet our beloved homeschool friends from our Adventure Club. During the summer the families meet at the bay every week. Today was going to be a hot day, so several of us agreed that in the afternoon, once our homeschool academics had been completed, we would meet at the bay. Let me tell you…..that time and place with those ladies and their children is beyond delightful!

Oftentimes the older boys of the group like to swim across the bay, from 57th St. to Naples. Today I joined them. Whoa! That was quite a swim!!! Swimming in the sea is no joke….with the current….the saltiness of the water….the choppiness of the water’s top due to the wind. But I did it! I swam from the beach all the way across to where you see those clumps of palm trees, across the bay.

(Photo Credit: Greta Eskridge)

The joy for me though was sharing that swim with the 4 boys and one girl who also made it across. Noah, James, William, Jacob and Emmerly had set out……while I sat on the beach deliberating whether I felt up for the challenge today. I had watched the boys go across in the past and had always quietly wished that I’d muster up the courage to try the swim. Today I hemmed and hawed quietly in my mind. My girlfriends were here on the beach- I would thoroughly enjoy getting to spend time chatting with them. Oh but the thrill of that exercise and the fun of getting to see if I could meet the challenge of swimming across were calling out to me today. And my sweet friend Greta said “you should do it. Go for it!” Sometimes that extra encouragement is what I need. So off I went. I swam and swam and swam. At one point a sail boat came through the channel- but cleared past me, no worries. It’s quite a different experience than lap swimming at the local pool! Man there’s no ‘taking breaks’ hanging on the sidewall or standing up. My breaks were sometimes swimming on my back.

When the kids noticed I too was coming, they shouted “try to catch up with us!” Ha! Yeah right. They were quite a bit ahead of me. I eventually caught up with them at the dock. They have a routing of tying up their surfboard and the boogie boards. 3 of them had rode in on those, paddling with their arms across the bay. 2 of the others had swam across just like me. I was SO impressed with those who swam. It is indeed quite a feat to swim across like that with nothing to hang onto for a break.

But then the hilarity began! They just pulled themselves out of the water onto the surfboard and up onto the dock. For the life of me I couldn’t do it. The surfboard had no wax on it and was suuuuuuuper slippery. If I had any luck getting my knees up on the surfboard, then I had to contend with the fact that in the process the surfboard had moved up in a rather vertical position up agains the side of the dock, with the way I had shimmied up onto the board and distributed my weight. I tried and tried again. No luck. All the while I kept trying, the boys were climbing up on the dock, up and over a railing and then jumping back into the bay from a high wall. They were having a blast! Emmerly in the meantime was collecting crabs along the dock. She has an incredible knack for catching animals! Her reflexes are sooooooo lightning fast! As the boys were jumping and she was catching crabs, I kept trying to get myself out of the water and up onto that dock. But with no ladder, mussels and algae agains the dock pilings to contend with and not enough upper body strength to hoist myself up, I had one failed attempt after another.

It was so sweet having the boys try to break down the “how to use the surfboard to get up out of the water onto the dock” procedure. They were doing it in slow-motion, explaining each step of the way, where I should place each hand and foot….and then they’d jump up onto the dock easy-peasy! Jacob then stayed with me trying to encourage me and help me figure out ways to stabilize the super slick-slippery surfboard that kept moving vertically away from me. When I thought about it later, it dawned on me that it was probably really significant and helpful to him to watch Mama totally, utterly fail at something. He doesn’t get the benefit of watching me do things I can’t do. And yet today he witnessed that. Mamas cannot do everything. He was so sweet keeping me company and trying to help. At one point though he said “C’mon JUST get up!!” He could feel my own angst of having tried what felt like a bzillion times. Seriously I think I tried for at least 15 minutes…..perhaps even 20 minutes. It felt like forever. At one point I thought to myself “you better reserve energy for the swim all the way back across the bay. you’re wasting a lot of energy treading water, trying to kick yourself up onto this surfboard and hoisting yourself up out of the water.”

But, finally! Finally. Finally. I made it up onto the dock. Hip hip hooray!!!!! What relief. 🙂

And then I climbed over the railing….walked over to the wall….and got myself ready for the jump back into the bay. Sweet Emmerly was going to make that first jump along with me. She had never jumped off before. This was a first for her and I at the same time. As we clung to the railing and I saw some trepidation in her eyes, with her inching closer to me…..I began to think “we just need to do this…..okay let’s count to 3 and do it”

1….2……3

And we jumped. Emmerly and I. What a sweet moment. And there were jubilant smiles on the boys’ faces.

Shortly after we made the swim back across the bay. Emmerly brought back with her a small bucket with the crabs she had collected from alongside the dock. Jacob and her shared the long surfboard…..trying to paddle with their hands all the while trying not to knock over the bucket of crabs.

The crabs made it to shore on the ride across the bay! We all made it back. A bit tired from that hard workout- but indeed feeling like a million dollars for having met the challenge!

(Photo Credit: Greta Eskridge)

Today when I picked up Jacob from school all I could do was smile. His face was streaked with black smudges all across his forehead and down his cheeks. He looked like a coal miner. I knew exactly what had happened. He had been sweating like a madman and then used his hands to wipe the sweat from his face, except that his hands were black from playground grunge. When kids play with those classic, red, rubber playground balls, their hands get sooooo D-I-R-T-Y! His face told me about his ultra competitive playtime; how hard he had played for the coveted title of Gaga Ball Champion. I looked at his hands and I just cringed. Oh.my.word. How can he not care that his hands are sooooooooooo filthy? But hey that’s the joy of being a boy. And that makes me think of my husband and how awesome it is that he can work his tail off in our backyard, digging trenches for sewer lines and sawing things for our construction project…..with dirt and sawdust blanketing his forearms…and be totally comfortable and fine with that. And yet they both clean up so nicely. Today as I looked at my boy with his dirt-smudged face and hands and with sweat dripping down his face, I thought to myself “boys are awesome!” I remember when I was pregnant and discovered the news at our ultrasound that we would have a boy- I freaked. I didn’t know anything about raising boys. I grew up with one sister. I went to an all-girls high school. I didn’t really associate with boys until I was in college. How in the world was I going to raise a boy? And Steve comforted me….”don’t worry Pal….I was a boy….I’ll let you know how to raise one.”  Today was one of those days when I just smiled at the recollection of how nervous I had been nine years ago. Now I am so incredibly comfortable with being a mama of a boy. I love my boy….dirt and sweat and all. Today I delighted in his grand announcement that he had finally won against one unbeatable boy. That 11-year old boy was a force to be reckoned with in the Gaga Ball Court apparently. Oh the sweet victory on Jacob’s face when he could proudly announce that today marked the day that HE stayed in the court and the older, invincible 11-year old had been hit below the knees and couldn’t catch the ball nor dodge it in time.

The joy of that Gaga Ball victory caused him to want to play for an additional 45 minutes after school with Natalie. They both looooooove this game! It wasn’t enough for him that he played it all recess and all lunch. It’s definitely a clever game- very active, lots of movement, requires a lot of coordination and can involve a lot of children in a small amount of land space.

It’s been announced: this weekend there will be momentous daddy-son outing…..they will be going out to buy Jacob some deodorant for the first time. I can just picture him now…..sniffing all the different scents of deodorants, trying to find the one he likes best…..and feeling so grown up and manly. That trip will indeed be a mark of entering manhood for him. An exciting weekend indeed. All in time for his first soccer game of the season on Sunday. Sweaty times…..here we come….

Sometimes life is just funny. Yesterday when I didn’t have the homeschool lesson plan all planned out, I was stressed out because I felt like I was winging it. Ugh. Hate that feeling. So last night I made a point of staying up to plan out a great day of lessons for today. I went to bed feeling very proud of myself….I figured out a way to nicely transition from the Caddie Woodlawn novel we’ve been reading and the Civil War and Native American studies of the past couple of weeks, to the unit on “Cultivated Crops” that our Charlotte Mason homeschool group will be studying this Fall. I decided to make the transition with crops of the South that were very significant to a lot of the reasons behind the Civil War: the production and harvesting of cotton. Found great information about George Washington Carver who was a slave himself and made significant contributions to the crop industry after the Civil War. It was perfect. I had primary source letters from the Civil War that the kids could read and analyze….I had artwork portraying slaves picking cotton…I had a map of the U.S. with data on which states produce the most cotton….I had BrainPop and YouTube links on who George Washington Carver was and the contributions he made. He was very famous for his study of all the uses of peanuts. And how significant it was to introduce ‘crop rotation’, since cotton depleted the soil of so many nutrients. It was important to alternate the crops- one year cotton, one year peanuts, or one year sweet potatoes. This was going to be perfect! I was even able to link it back to the Civil War re-enactment we went to last weekend, where one of the soldiers sang a song to Natalie called “Eating Goober peas” I had no idea that peanuts were called goober peas in the South. So many rich connections and yet also moving forward with new topics. Oh I went to bed so satisfied and happy with my planning. I had fought a good fight with my printer last night and even had math problems printed and ready for the morning. It was going to be a great day. A productive school day. The best.

So this morning I started to roll it all out…..

The kids were at the kitchen counter eating their oatmeal as I read aloud from the Caddie Woodlawn novel. They were sooooo into it, that they pleaded for me to read more than our typical one chapter a day. We moved out onto the deck, the kids each swinging away to their heart’s content on our swings while I read two additional chapters. Then just as we were about to move back into the house to continue with the fine lessons I had ready and waiting….

Jacob said “Mom, look at Charlie’s leg!!” I turned my head and looked down at Charlie. Oh me oh my. There he was with a patch of raw skin. Ohhhhhhhh Charlie. He had been biting, scratching, who knows what…..and a patch of his leg was fur-less. All the fur gone and just raw, red, little bit of bloody skin. Oh.no.no.no. As I examined him, there was another spot on his leg that was all raw from having been scratched to nothing. Ugh. No.no.no. I could see my day of intact, creative lesson plans dissolving and in their place a trip to the vet taking place. A couple of weeks ago he had a spot on his back that he had been scratching, we put some Neosporin on it for a few days and then we noticed he itched it less. But now clearly it was obvious that something was making poor Charlie uncomfortable and super itchy. 

So we all piled into the car, drove to Daddy’s work, exchanged our new Sienna for the old, green van. Drove back home, picked up Charlie and then went to the vet. But the vet was jam-packed full. So full that all the parking spots were taken and cars were waiting in the parking lot for any spaces to clear. Well, we needed to deliver a birthday present to a dear friend in Lomita….so we continued on to our friend’s house…thinking it was better to be productive and get something accomplished instead of waiting for an hour in a really full doctor’s office. When we returned half hour later, the vet’s parking lot had one open space. I quickly drove down to the signal to make a u-turn and claim the spot. Nope- too late. Someone else had grabbed it. Today was just going to be one of those days.

Altogether, 2 1/2 hours later, a cortisone shot administered, antibiotics in hand, $135 charged on my credit card….we were headed back home. We made it back just in time for the kids to inhale some pb&j sandwiches and put some tennis shoes on so I could take them to their 12noon enrichment classes. 

Oh.but wait. The 3 local schools we need to drive by to get to their school, all had minimum day today. Noooooooooooo. Seriously?! So now there we were stuck in traffic. Lots of traffic. 

Okay….breathe Marina breathe…..just.let.go. Consider it success that you had math sheets ready so that you could throw them on a clipboard and have them work on their math in the car. Consider it a success that you had their spiral notebook journals ready and the topics for reflective writing already pre-printed in them. You can say this day was a school day. You read 3 chapters of a novel to them, had conversations about new vocabulary words, discussed character traits as you read, had them make predictions and interpretations of the text as you stopped and discuss the readings. They did lots of math problems. They even wrote today! They wrote lots. It’s okay. Breathe. Yes, you only did the first 3 of the 11 amazing things you had planned and prepared for. Yes, yesterday you were stressed out because you didn’t have anything planned. Yes, today you are stressed because everything was planned and yet it all went awry with the unexpected itchy problem that Charlie had. It’s okay. 

Oh did I mention that while the kids were eating their pb&j sandwiches for lunch, I tried to continue some of the lessons I had prepped? I won’t name who….but a certain someone accidentally knocked a tall glass of water on the counter….and water was pooling, running, scurrying across the counter everywhere. I hurriedly picked up the pile of all my precious lesson plans for today before they were drenched. That would have been misery beyond misery- to not have gotten to complete any of the planned work and to have it all doused with spilled water. Alas I was spared that heart attack.

So while the kids had their hour-long enrichment classes, I drove to Trader Joe’s to try to unwind as I did some grocery shopping. I perused the aisles feeling like an exhausted zombie. Can I have a nap already? Please.

Perhaps it’s because I’m sad that I had to let go of what would have been a great, successful homeschool day…..but when I rounded the corner of our block and I saw men taking down the street’s huge magnolia trees, I just felt sad. Really, really sad. One tree had already been reduced to a stump. Now they were working on my neighbor’s tree. Huge, big branches that took decades of growth now being chopped to mulch in one of those great, big, loud tree-chomping machines. The huge tree reduced to a tall, vertical, thick pole. And then the giant thud as it fell to the ground, with all of its chainsaw cuts. Oh the sadness. All the magnolia trees being removed on our street. All the streets. All being taken away because some lame head years ago didn’t think through the fact that these trees have roots that lift sidewalks. I seriously don’t understand why it is that city planners don’t have 20+ year plans for the type of trees and vegetation they plant. Perhaps city planning didn’t exist back then. Who knows. I don’t know. But today I’m feeling frustrated, depleted and now sad.

Hoping the rest of the day gets better.

I’m ready for a better day tomorrow.